blogging · Brussels · cancer · death · lifestyle · Loss · myelofibrosis · Uncategorized

Note to Self: Live

I’ve just walked out into the garden and witnessed a spectacular sight – the clouds were moving across the sky and the full moon was peeping through the gaps. A simple, natural and moving image, it reminded me of those wonderful descriptions in old gothic folk tales  of werewolves and ghosts and ghouls.

Today the news has been strewn with horror and tragedy. Yet another attack on a European country. Innocent people going about their business caught in the middle. More deaths. More mayhem. More tears.

There is a TV in my workplace that constantly streams the BBC news. I walked past it several times today and saw image after image of devastation and despair.

When things like this happen, it stops the world. For a moment we are forced to reflect, to think about our own mortality. We fear it might happen to us. We think about the victims, we forget our petty squabbles, we are respectfully silent. Then we move on.

Why? Because life goes on.  Eventually the sadness fades, the wounds heal and reality sets in. We go back to our work, to the routines that make us tick along like rats on the wheel.

When people find out my husband has Myelofibrosis their first response is to ask us how we cope. They couldn’t begin to imagine what they would do, or how they would manage. They question him about how he can possibly keep working, they shake their heads in awe at his ability to keep smiling through such adversity.

Don’t get me wrong, it is difficult. But if we stop our lives. If we let it take over our everything then what would be left? Part of surviving is the belief that you can beat this thing, you can win the race and push yourself valiantly over the finishing line. You have to be a winner.

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Myelofibrosis was our own version of a terrorist attack. It exploded into our lives one day and changed everything. For a while we mourned the disaster but after some time we found a way to live again. We can never forget what has happened and what might be but we are determined to live mindfully. Grateful for what we have and thankful to live another day together as a family.

My heart goes out to the families who have lost their loved ones so suddenly on this otherwise ordinary Tuesday. It’s on days like today that I remember what life is about. The things that stress us out or irritate us are of little consequence. Life is simply for living. So let’s do just that.

RIP xxx

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